Bring Back The Old Nai Cha

Dear Chowking,

I don't like the new nai cha.  It tastes weird.  Please bring back the old flavor .

Not-The-One

My friend and his girlfriend just got engaged. One look at these lovebirds and you'll know that they're madly in love with each other. You'll see it in their glance, smile, touch, the way they look and relate to each other. I asked my friend, "How do you know that she's the one?" He replied the famous, "I just know."

           10 Questions for Stan Lee by Belinda Luscombe, Time Magazine March 19, 2012

It seems people who are lucky to find The One just know.  It would be easier if they could just provide a cheat sheet instead of leaving others on their own.  It would be better if there is a sure test in finding the one, so that The One will not be The One Who Got Away.

So going back to my friend, I asked him instead, "How did you know that your ex-girlfriends were not the one?"  Then, he told me the signs.

Some of these are listed below.  

• well first, you start asking yourself if she's the one 
• being with her has become a chore
• spending time with her doesn't bring you joy anymore
• a trusted friend says you don't look happy when you're with her
• you're not excited about a future with her
• you no longer make an effort to look attractive to her
• she doesn't make you feel secure
• her goals in life are not aligned with yours
• she doesn't want to be seen with you
• she's not proud of you
• she doesn't make you feel special
• you're not excited to do things for her
• you start to mentally criticize her physical flaws
• you complain about her to your parents and family
• you're more like brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend
• she's not a good influence
• you're overly critical of her and vice versa
• you don't respect her
• she doesn't accept you for who you are
• you're tired of her drama
• your family and friends don't like her
• she does not inspire you to be a better man

Perhaps, being armed with this information can somehow help us eliminate and cross out every unworthy candidate that comes our way. I know some people who ignored the warning signs and got married to the wrong persons. Now, they're living miserably with their spouses. All they can do is wish they did not settle for Not-The-One.

After finding yourself checking every item above, yet you still feel that you're with THE ONE, then maybe you really found THE ONE.  After all, when you're in love, it only takes one positive thing to cross out all the negative things on your list.

image courtesy of discountdizneypins.com

I Am Now A Love Doctor! (Love Dilemma No.1)

I'm officially a love doctor. One Saturday, Confused Guy (CG) told me about his love problem. It felt good to be trusted with love matters. Also, it was a great feeling to help someone who's been going through a lot. So here's his dilemma.

image courtesy of turbosquid.com

CG: Miss Twenty-Something Blogger (MTSB), I fell in love with a girl. But it turned out that she has a boyfriend. We have feelings for each other but she says she cannot leave his boyfriend.  My heart is stupid. What should I do? Should I just stay friends with her? I feel so naive, she's the only girl I seriously loved.


MTSB: Are you sure two-timing girl (TTG)  loves you back? Like most guys, some girls can be ego trippers too. Sorry to tell you the truth.

CG: What do you mean ego trippers? The harder truth you tell me, the better. Please don't hold back.

MTSB: Maybe TTG is just bored. The girl may be looking for something that's missing in her relationship. It could be the excitement, extra attention, romantic gestures, gifts.  Or free meals (hahaha).  TTG could be insecure, she needs to be constantly reminded that another man still finds her attractive.  Do yourself a favor and stop being TTG's fallback.

CG: Ouch damn. Alam mo it really feels better when someone says it straight in your face. I realized what also pains me is the vagueness of the situation to me. Probably I already knew that, but my heart and mind won't accept it. Promise ko talaga one time lang mangyayari sa buhay ko ito.  Probably it happened to educate me of love's reality ...

I haven't spoken to CG since that day. I hope he already got out of that painful situation. I think he knew deep inside that TTG would not leave her boyfriend for him.  He was just in denial.  I don't regret being straightforward with CG, because he needed that. Nobody deserves to be the third party in a relationship.

Guys, girls can be wicked too. Don't fall into the trap of the neglected girlfriend. Don't be that someone who feeds a woman's ego while stripping himself of his own confidence and principles. You deserve better than that.

Bitter Ocampo

There are things that we do after a breakup which are normal, like deleting our ex’s number from our phonebook and unfriending them in facebook . But there are things which scream BITTER OCAMPO. Once upon a time, I was a “bitter ocampo”. If you can identify with the list below, then welcome to the Bitter Ocampo Club.

A Bitter Ocampo…

1. Badmouths his ex

2. Tells his friend every nasty detail about his ex

3. Tweets or posts status saying that he’s okay and he has moved on (when obviously he has not)

4. Says he looks better than the new boyfriend

5. Compares himself to the new boyfriend and says he’s better  in every aspect

6. Uploads pictures of his “gimiks” and “dates” with different girls (to show that he’s getting along well)

7. Does not unfriend his ex, but unsubscribes to all posts 

8. After he unsubscribes to all posts, he still checks the profile of his ex to know what she's up to and if she's still with that good-for-nothing guy

9. Asks their common friends not to befriend the ex's new boyfriend

10. Checks the profile of the new boyfriend and points out every wrong detail about his face and body

It’s alright to be a bitter ocampo for a few months after a breakup. But if it’s been a year, and you still have the symptoms above, wake up and get out of the bitter zone or else you may wake up one day full of wrinkles. (mas mapait ka pa sa ampalaya!)

Yes, It's a No!

Guys, sometimes when a girl says no, it means yes. It may also mean maybe.  But most of the time, a no does not mean anything other than NO.

"The One Who Let Go"

I’m a sucker for love stories, both happy and sad. I love listening to a friend talk about a new found love. On the other hand, I cry with a friend who’s bleeding in love. Love is such a popular subject because all of us can relate to it. Who has not experienced its joys and pains? Even the famous hits are all about love. Those who have not loved have not lived. To quote my favorite author, "And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t."

One day, I could not help but chat (with) an old classmate. I have not spoken to her in ages. It's only through Facebook that I get updates from her (oh, don't we just love Facebook). When I saw that she was online, I just had to tell her that I was so happy that she met someone. Prior to that convo, I saw her posts about her new boyfriend and it was perfectly clear that she was on cloud nine. She and her boyfriend looked very happy in their pictures together, that I could not help but reminisce my own love story. I'm sure you'll agree that seeing someone who's so in love brings us those memories of the honeymoon stage in our relationships. However, she told me that they have broken up. The reason being was the guy went back to his ex-girlfriend (ex-girlfriends are such a pain). I was expecting bitter and ugly words from her. But then, she said ...

“Let me tell you, though. I was the "One Who Let Go". But you know why I'm not that reproachful about the whole thing? Because after XX years, I got to feel once again that giddyness and floating feeling of having someone to love crazily and who loved you back in the same manner. Shame it had to end so soon, but to feel that again after a long time already makes it worth it. There was a time when I can sing again the songs that I eventually couldn't sing. I'm hoping that the next time love comes my way I can keep it for longer and I'd have more chances to cherish and nurture it.” 

Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone who goes through a breakup has the same mindset as her? I've been through breakups before and my reaction was very far from hers (let's save this for another story). I admire this girl. I admire her maturity. Instead of cursing her ex-boyfriend and being such a BITTER OCAMPO about it, she chose to be positive and optimistic. 

To "the one who let go"- I admire you for doing the right thing. Many people stay in unhappy and complicated relationships, when they perfectly know their way out. But you chose not to. You are brave, strong, not to mention smart. This world does not need another martyr nor a masochist. Don’t worry, I'm sure you’ll meet Mr. God’s-will-for-you soon. Because, I’m telling you it’s true, when one door closes, another one opens. The best is always saved for last. 

:)

Because It's Women's Month-Why It's More Fun Being A Woman

1. it's perfectly fine to have a girl crush 
2. makeup! (lipstick, mascara and concealer to cover big zits and other blemishes) 
3. different hairstyles 
4. we have an excuse to be snotty and mean (during that time of the month) 
5. we can wear red nail polish and any color we want (other than black and colorless) 
6. people are more tolerant with us for wearing thick foundation (espasol face) vs guys who wear funda 
7. hair flip
8. comfier mrt rides 
9. flowers and chocolates 
10. girls' stuff are relatively cheaper than men's 
11. being offered a seat during commute 
12. we don't have to deal with hair in the nose, back, and ears 
13. going to the bathroom in groups (yey, girl talk!) 
14. it's okay to buy and read gossip magazines
15. more fashion choices
16. we can wear men's clothes and look sexy in them
17. high heels

I say it's hot, he says it's not!

Don't you just hate it when you are so excited to show your new look to your boyfriend/husband and then he gives you a blank stare or a what-were-you-thinking look?  I remember when I had my eyebrows bleached.  My girlfriends were excited for me, as they thought that it gave me a different (meaning less masungit/mataray) look.  To my dismay and to theirs as well, the brows went unnoticed.  Tsk, so much for my effort.

Also, I got compliments from my girlfriends when I had my hair colored.  He said it looked okay, but his facial expression clearly betrayed his words.  "Waley" ang hair ko! And then a few days after, he said I looked better with black hair, and that I should not have my hair colored anymore.  It's the same story when it comes to shopping.  He also doesn' t get it why I rave about certain trends and style.

I call this my hottie-nottie list.  I hope I won't have to update this soon.

1.  hair color-he likes black versus any shade of brown/red or whatsoever color

2.  perm-  straight hair for him, my good friend also shared that her permed hair irritates his hubby's face (makati daw)

3.  lacy blouses- this was a surprise as I always thought men loved lace
4. leopard prints- I thought animal prints would appeal to any guy

5. knitted stuff- pang "lola" lang daw

6. high waist swimsuit- hmm
7. thong sandals- he says thong sandals are not sexy

8. colorful fashion watch- quality over quantity

9. gypsy accessories- well, because they're gypsy
10. high-waist shorts/pants- for him, baduy daw (?)

11. short hair- like most guys, he doesn't like short hair
12. harem pants- he says this looks funny even on men
13. red lipstick-he prefers the natural look
14. henna tattoo- i find henna tattoo sexy (especially on the back), but he thinks otherwise.  he thinks it looks dirty
15. gladiator sandals- reminds him of Russell Crowe?

I wonder if girls out there can relate to my list.  Are guys hardwired to disagree with us even in the looks/fashion/style department?  Of course, we girls want to impress our men, but do we need to sacrifice our personal style and taste just to get their nod of approval?  You might be wondering if I have stopped wearing lacy blouses and knitted stuff, the answer is no.  I haven't thrown my gypsy earrings nor the "unflattering" footwear either.  I still wear red lipstick and I'm also planning to get a shorter 'do this summer.   As long as my girlfriends are impressed, gora lang :)

Love Your Own

Let's face it, the world is biased towards good-looking people. Those who are easy on the eyes are better compensated. Just look at the glamorous lives of models, actors and actresses. Aside from a hefty paycheck, they're also given free stuff like clothes, bags, watches, beauty products and gadgets. Popular young actresses are able to build their dream houses in a much shorter span of time than us ordinary citizens. There was even a show that featured men acting more helpful towards attractive damsels in distress compared to their unattractive counterparts.

People judge us by our looks. But in the confines of our homes, are we exempt from this kind of treatment? In an interview with a successful local actress, she mentioned that she was given away by her parents because she was the least attractive among the siblings. I wonder how the other members of her family looked like because she didn't look bad at all. It's heartbreaking to think that parents can just disown their children because they think they don't measure up to their standard of beauty.

There was also this couple from the province who left their homeliest kid at home when they traveled. This kid was neglected by his parents because of how he looked like. I can't imagine the life of this person, held in contempt by his own parents, because of his appearance.

Aren't parents supposed to be our number one fan and "kakampi", the first (or even the only ones) to say that we are beautiful/ handsome? In this world which puts high regard to good looks and gorgeous bodies, shouldn't we feel safe from superficial judgment in our own homes?

The One Who Escaped

I was hanging out with a friend when Adele’s Someone Like You and Katy Perry’s The One That Got Away were played consecutively. I asked her, do you have someone who got away? I was surprised when she said no. You see, this friend of mine had her fair share of relationships. Thus, I was expecting that she would reminisce and tell me a sad story with a longing look on her face.

“This ex-boyfriend of mine always tells me that I’m the one who got away,” my friend told me. “Well, I’m the one who escaped,” she added. 

It’s because this friend had always been the better half in her relationships. They had her, they lost her. One boyfriend was an alcoholic, one was a two-timer, one was a control freak, and one had a drug addiction. Her worst boyfriend was all of the above. My friend is very lucky because she’s not on the other side of the coin. She’s not the one who always thinks about her ex. She does not spend her time in Facebook checking the account of her ex-boyfriend, comparing herself with his new girlfriend.

The one who got away is happy that she escaped. She’s looking forward to meeting the guy who’s for keeps, the one that, hopefully, will never get away.  In relation to this entry, I'm posting the article below about THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY. I came across this years ago.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come...Hopefully you’re single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?”...What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple…find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.” You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference...If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”                       Source: The Manila Times, Mark J. Macapagal