Not-The-One

My friend and his girlfriend just got engaged. One look at these lovebirds and you'll know that they're madly in love with each other. You'll see it in their glance, smile, touch, the way they look and relate to each other. I asked my friend, "How do you know that she's the one?" He replied the famous, "I just know."

           10 Questions for Stan Lee by Belinda Luscombe, Time Magazine March 19, 2012

It seems people who are lucky to find The One just know.  It would be easier if they could just provide a cheat sheet instead of leaving others on their own.  It would be better if there is a sure test in finding the one, so that The One will not be The One Who Got Away.

So going back to my friend, I asked him instead, "How did you know that your ex-girlfriends were not the one?"  Then, he told me the signs.

Some of these are listed below.  

• well first, you start asking yourself if she's the one 
• being with her has become a chore
• spending time with her doesn't bring you joy anymore
• a trusted friend says you don't look happy when you're with her
• you're not excited about a future with her
• you no longer make an effort to look attractive to her
• she doesn't make you feel secure
• her goals in life are not aligned with yours
• she doesn't want to be seen with you
• she's not proud of you
• she doesn't make you feel special
• you're not excited to do things for her
• you start to mentally criticize her physical flaws
• you complain about her to your parents and family
• you're more like brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend
• she's not a good influence
• you're overly critical of her and vice versa
• you don't respect her
• she doesn't accept you for who you are
• you're tired of her drama
• your family and friends don't like her
• she does not inspire you to be a better man

Perhaps, being armed with this information can somehow help us eliminate and cross out every unworthy candidate that comes our way. I know some people who ignored the warning signs and got married to the wrong persons. Now, they're living miserably with their spouses. All they can do is wish they did not settle for Not-The-One.

After finding yourself checking every item above, yet you still feel that you're with THE ONE, then maybe you really found THE ONE.  After all, when you're in love, it only takes one positive thing to cross out all the negative things on your list.

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