Mommy Issues

One of my favorite episodes of HIMYM was when Lily realized that she married someone like her dad.  Barney's brother, James, made Barney realize that Nora is too much like their mom.  Marshal realized that Lily and his dad were very much alike.  Robin's therapist boyfriend agreed that we date someone who reminds us of our parents.

Do we really choose someone like our mother/father?  A man chooses a wife who has similar traits with his mom.  A woman chooses a husband who has the same characteristics and personality  as her dad.

I asked my good friend if she saw any similarity between his dad and husband.  In her case, there was none.

On her husband's end, he has told her many times that she and his mom are so alike. I know that for some wives, this is not a compliment, but instead of being bothered, my friend was delighted with this idea because she likes her mother in law.

It just got me thinking, most wives and mothers-in-law are at war with each other. Is it because of this theory? If a man deliberately or subconsciously chooses someone like his mom, is the wife-mother in law relationship doomed to fail? Are they bound to hate each other (hate is such a strong word!) because they are like poles and that there cannot be two queens of the house? Or is it possible for like poles to admire and respect each other when they  love the same man?

Well, I just hope the latter holds true for my friend and that she will live happily ever after with her husband (and mother in law). Making things work out with one's husband is hard enough, conflicts with a mother in law will make it a lot harder.  Getting married should mean gaining another set of parents instead of foes.